Friday, May 05, 2006

Still here

I have no idea what it was the other night. All I know was the sky was bright orange and flaring up really bright. Not just a hint of orange, bright orange. No one else seems to have seen it, although speaking to Scotty this morning he agreed he and Maz have seen it before exactly as I described to him. Anyway, all seems fine.

I've just been flat out the last few days editing photos, running erands, more photoshoots. I use all natural light for my photos and with Winter looming I'm really begining to struggle with light. Add the fact that pretty soon there will be a pergola outside 'my' windows I'm really going to have issues. So we've decided the time has come to invest in some lights. Problem is I have NO clue where to start - well I have a little clue, but there is still so much I have to work out. What spare few mintues I have had have been spent cruising photography forums and studio lighting suppliers sites. Last night I went out (more on that later) and when I got back Brett had marked a heap of things on ebay for me. It is so confusing. I am totally self taught, and have perfected (well, you know;) ) natural light with lots of experimenting, lots of errors and lots of leaps forward. I feel a bit daunted by the move to studio lights, but it really will give me so much more freedom, and hey if others can work it out, so can I. And there is a wealth of information out there, it's just a case of sorting through it, and finding the time to to that. But one things for sure, if I want to continue to earn an income for the next six months, I need to get some lights.

Now, about last night...
I went to an information night at one of the schools we are looking at for Liam next year. It's the school we are most interested in. I was one of the first there, so I starting reading some information when it suddenly hit me that my baby would be going to school next year. More of his time will be spent with his teacher that with me. Will his teacher be nice? Will they cater for his individual needs? Will he get lost in the croud, will other children be nice to him, will he have to deal with bullies, will he miss me... the list goes on. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS!! I could feel my eyes getting prickely and start to well up, so it was time to put the brochure away. I was soon distracted as a few friends started to arrive. As the night began they brought out some of this years preps who did a little song etc. The principal said something along the lines of how we'll think these kids look so much bigger than ours, but that's what happens when they come to school, they grown up. Oh my Lord I AM NOT READY FOR THIS!! I want my boy at home with me for longer. I want the last four years back to live again. I want to take him to the park, share picnics on the beach, teach him to swim, snuggle with him on the couch for mid day naps, play hide and seek and a whole bunch of other games we make up on the spur of the moment. I want to pull faces at him in the rear-view mirror as we drive around on erands, I want to hear his laughter echo around this house all day long, and I want to be able to check on him 100 times a day and know he is OK. I faught back the tears and listened to the presentations, the different speakers, the children, the teachers. I saw the buildings, the playground, the preppies area and class rooms. I spoke in more detail with a few of the teachers who so obviously love their jobs and the children they teach. I felt they would nuture him, they would cater for his individual needs, they would be easy for me to relate to and discuss issues with. Their class sizes are quite small so I don't feel he'd get lost in the croud. The programs they impliment and systems they use made sense to me. I loved the way the preppies were segregated from the rest of the school. A smaller step from pre-school, not the huge leap to "primary school". I can only make myself as informed as possible, and go with what my heart tells me is the right place to educate and nurture HIM, to help HIM become the best he can be. And at this stage this is still my favourite school. But I'm still not ready for it!


Lyn Dwyer said...

KATIE............I hear you girl!
I was exactly the same before Brendan started school but by the time my 4th went(Tim) I was better prepared.
Starting school can be a bit daunting for the whole family. Lots of changes shall take place in that first year.
it is also a very exciting time for the child....a whole new world opens up to them.
My best advise to you is to get invloved in his learning....offer to help with any literacy programs or helping with excursions.Liam will love it and you will feel much happier knowing that you and the school are working together to assist Liam in his educational development.
Do I sound like a Prep teacher?
Now think of all the fun you are going to have from now until the start of next year choosing a school bag, lunch box, uniform, etc...include Liam in this proces of choice...he will love it!


Jess said...

I right there with you Katie! We're still dithering over the decision of whether to send Ethan to school next year or hold him back. Sometimes I suspect my desire to give him another year of kinder may have a bit to do with MY readiness for him to start school, rather than his readiness. As we get further into the year, I start to dread him growing up (and away) more and more. I know that one day I won't be the most important person in his life any more, and that kills me!


Sarah said...

Katie i am know exactly where you are coming from. I had the same decision to make and it is so hard and i still wonder if i made the right choice. I was the biggest sook when Bek started school and i still am every single day. I miss her so much. She has grown up and developed in leaps and bounds. She loves every minute of it and there are some days i want to keep her home with me like old days and i ask her is she wants to and she like " No Mum i will miss my friends." i am so glad she is happy at school. Now that she is at school i enjoy the precious time i have with her after school. I think you will also find that Ethan will miss him soooo much. Harrison cries every single morning we leave Bek at the door. Ohh it is hard but at the end of the day they have to go.... (SIGH).. Can you tell i am still emotional.. LOL

Good luck with your decision. in the end i went with my gut feeling. Dont listen to rumours around the neighbourhood, all schools have good and bad points.


kathie said...

Oh Katie. Hugs. Reading your post, I started getting scared for me! I was feeling your pain. And Jamie's only six months old!!! I can so appreciate that this is a huge step.

Sofi p said...

Katie, they grow up so quickly, don't they, go with your gut instinct. If you feel that this school is right for Liam, then go for it. Jim and I are betiing who is going to cry on Lee's first day of school!!!

Donna Wilson said...

it's natural to feel this way when your first starts school. My baby is now in Year 2, and they do grow up so quickly. Each year the Mums look at the 'new' kinders, and try to remember if ours were that small. Enjoy the journey, don't let it scare you. xx

Carolyne Hallum said...

ohhhh katie, wait until he hits year 10 - then we can talk. i know the feelings you are going through too well but it's all good. this is the next stage of your lives that you will be crossing, enjoy every bit of it. hugs.

Janine said...

Katie- I hear you loud and clear. I'm a Mum but I'm also a teacher- believe me- teachers care about your children, more that you would expect.
You just wait- my daughter is eight years old(nine this year) and I'm already getting information on high schools for her!!!!